Resolving Interpersonal Conflict (Blog Post #2)

I still remembered vividly that there was once my brother and mother had a heated argument at home. They were quarrelling about my baby nephew’s feed. My mother was supposed to come home and prepare fish porridge for the baby but she was late. The baby’s feed was supposed to be at 6pm sharp but she reached home only at 6.30pm. The baby was fed baby cereal at 6pm instead because he was hungry. The maid told my brother about it and my brother was furious. After work, he came home and confronted my mother about the incident. He wanted to know why my mother was late. My mother explained to him that she was at my uncle’s house discussing my uncle’s renovation plans and was not able to reach home on time. Then, my brother suggested letting the baby eat his baby cereal on Thursday and Friday as this will be the two days when my mother will be busy. However, my mother did not see that my brother was accommodating her. She thought that my brother was accusing her to be late every time. That was why he wanted the baby cereal to be given to the baby every Thursday and Friday. This caused my brother to explode and he started shouting at her, saying that he was trying to solve the problem but she did not think so. She argued that since she would reach home on time in the future, why should he fix the two days for the baby to be fed with the cereal. My brother said that my mother’s time management was always lousy and by fixing the feed, the baby would have his dinner on time. However, my mother was angry and insisted that she would still prepare the feed on Thursday and Friday. This caused my brother to slam the door as he went out of the house.

In what way can he explain to my mother such that she will not misinterpret what he meant?

The possible causes are personality conflict and misinterpretation: e.g. my mother’s stubbornness and my brother’s hot tempered nature and also my mother’s misinterpretation of his goodwill.

Effective Communication Skills (Blog Post #1)

Being able to communicate effectively in everyday life is very essential for me. Having effective communication skills such as interpreting nonverbal communication cues allows me to know how the listeners feel about the things that I am talking about. For instance, when a listener is scratching his head and looking puzzled, it shows that he does not get your message. In contrast, when the listener is nodding and giving a sign of approval with a thumb up, it shows that he agrees to what you are saying and likes the message that you brought across to him.

Having effective communication skills also allow me to forge good relationships with friends, clients and family members. It allows me to be able to resolve conflicts easily too. For example, when I know that my friend is angry with the derogatory words that I used, I can repair the bad feelings by apologizing to him. Furthermore, having effective communication skills allow me to avoid cultural conflicts. For instance, when I’m eating with my Japanese friends, it is perfectly fine for me to burp when I finish my food because it means I appreciate my food but if I’m eating with other ethnic friends then it will be rude if I burped.

Besides being good at conveying messages to my listeners, it allows me to be a good listener as well. For example, when my lecturer is speaking, I will sit up straight and not slouch so I can be attentive and not fall asleep. It is also very distracting if my mobile phone is on because someone might call or SMS me so I will switch off my mobile phone when I am in class. By being a good listener, I will be able to evaluate and examine the messages that are conveyed. It also allows me to sieve out important information and ideas from the speaker’s speech.

Therefore, having effective communication skills are definitely important in my life. It allows me to be able to interpret nonverbal cues, forge good relationships with people and also develop myself as a good listener and speaker.